The Battle of Basementshire

The Saga has been told, the tapestry has been woven. February 28th 1067, Basementshire in the Danelaw. The horse buggering Normans led by "Dewey the Bastard" made an ill-fated incursion into the Danelaw to raid and pillage the poor unsuspecting villagers.

The peaceful village of Crapenburgh

As the Normans made their way through the Shire raping and pillaging, word was quickly sent to Jarl Johann Anthonysson and he quickly assembled the stout hearted warriors to march on Crapenburgh. By the bones of St. Cuthbert these invaders would be driven back to Normandy where they belong.

"Do not fear good citizens! I shall protect your sheep from these perverse Norman dogs.

The Normans, being mounted, took the field first.  This was to be a "Clash of Warlords" and only the truly bravest of warlords would remain victorious while the other scuttled back across the river...errr channel back to his homeland.  "Dewey the Bastard" took to the field first, arriving just to the Northeast of the village followed very closely by Jarl Johann and his trusty loyal Huscarls who thought to head around the west-end of Crapenburgh.

The Norman rabble approach.

The brave Huscarls charging the cowardly Norman bowmen.

However, the Normans brought on their Knights and some cowardly warriors armed with crossbows. Real men would never use such weapons preferring to see the fear in the eyes of their foe when they drive their spear deep into his guts.  The remainder of the Jarls forces arrived and took up a holding position to the East of Crapenburgh opposite the Norman usurper and his rabble.  As the shieldwall was forming the Norman dogs launched a barrage of arrows their way catching the brave men unaware and managing to drop to Huscarls caught unaware.  These Norman dogs did not even wait for the customary exchange of insults.  What type of men are these Normans?

The shield-wall is formed.

Quickly the brave Danish warriors recovered and prepared themselves for battle.  The shield-wall was raised and a mighty and intimidating roar was heard across the field as they charged forward.  So fearsome was the roar that the crossbowmen cowered behind their women's skirts as real men marched forward.  The Norman Knights thinking to capitalize on the Danes as they recovered from the shooting galloped forward however the shield-wall held firm and they were repulsed. Normans fell in droves as ax and sword ran with Norman blood.  As those few Normans that remained turned to flee in horror the Danes pushed forward and cut down the fleeing curs.

On the eastern side of the Village things were really beginning to heat up.  Jarl Johann shouted to his brave lads to follow him and they moved up to engage the Normans. This was to be the work or real men this day.  Shield-walls were raised and battle commenced.

The clash of shield-walls!

First blood might have gone to the Normans but the Danes battlelust was upon them and they were not to be denied. While the crossbowmen coward in fear on one side of the village the remainder of the Norman dogs stood firm and received the charge of the Danes. At least this group would die like real men. The battle was a back and forth affair with both sides coming away bloodied but ready for more. The Norman Lord seeing his men faltering charged forth on his warhorse to be met by Jarl Johann and a few of his retainers.

Dewey the Bastard charges to meet Jarl Johann

The wild stamping beast and sword of Dewey the bastard laid low several brave warriors but he was not able to break the defenses of Jarl Johann. Unfortunately, the beast he was riding threw up some dirt which got in the eye of Jarl Johann and he temporarily backed off a few paces to recover. His men thinking the Jarl might have been wounded also fell back to protect their Jarl. However, this fortuitous re-organization allowed the remainder of the Jarls warriors to charge forward and bring the invader down.

Aahh the feasting in the Jarl's longhouse, "The Hooting Owls", that night was something the minstrels will sing about for a long time. It must be mentioned that after all the bloody work was done Rob Metzlersson arrived on the field of battle. The Jarl being in a feasting mood allowed him to join in the celebration as well.The Jarl was heard to exclaim that he can be sure of many more battles like these with the Norman dogs in the future but he was sure that with brave lads like those in his hall that he would see the Normans driven from Angleland once and for all.  Then they would march north and see to those Viking pigs and their leader Josef McGuiresson.  A most foul and loathsome brute there never was.  And drive them back to Vik once and for all!